Chatting Shit

Warwick Surf was once is often described as a group of people who thoroughly enjoy and excel at the art of chatting shit. Chatting shit is an integral part of the club and many hungover breakfasts in Wetherspoons or Fistral Chef will confirm this. It is not to be taken lightly; chatting shit shit is generally frowned upon whereas chatting fantastically shit shit (that kind which positively dribbles out of the mouth in one long stream of outrageous, superfluous, hyperboleous, imagination) makes the world a brighter place and is what actually appeases Poseidon, ensuring good swell forecasts and light offshore breezes.

When chatting shit it is always good to remember what the late, great, sunbaked James A. Garfield once said: "Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter".

For the uninformed, deciphering an event description; exec email; or just talking to a group of Warwick Surfians (vicious rumours [great album] have been circling that the correct etymology is Warwick Surfopodes. It is not. Although it might be. I don't know, I did Engineering like 95% of Warwick Surfianopodes) can be a proverbial bitch and can leave your mind twisting itself into a hecatonicosachoron. Luckily this page is here to help you! Below is a group of words or sayings aligned in a vertical pattern with an explanation after each of them as to what that word or saying means. A list of definitions, if you like.

Yes

- Consult page

Cunt and Country

- Cunt is short for Country

- Country is long for Cunt

- Visual aid for derivation removed for geopolitical legal reasons:

Knob Out!

- An expression used to portray either shock, amazement, excitement or to point out that another male member of surf has stripped naked and exposed their male member. Frequently used although careful attention must be paid to the context in which the phrase is said as this can give you a clue as to what kind of 'Knob Out' is meant.

What the Cheese?

- What on earth?

Havoc!!

- Generally shouted out when a slight change to the status quo occurs or before, during and/or after a surf social. Havoc is a strange beast and difficult to contain once unleashed. Famous Polish alchemist Osioł Przekompostować discovered this when researching into the effects of Havoc Induced Radiation.

Tepid

- Used to describe something that is too good to describe using normal adjectives.

No (insert something here generally associated with sensibleness and solemnity)

- This is shouted loudly and often to re-affirm the fact that we are not a sensible group of people. Some examples: No parents, no offices, no bedtime. For someone who clearly doesn't fit these rules of UNAY life see Julian Regan.

Sick in the face!

Meaning very sick, beyond the realm of regular sickness. Sometimes shortened to SitF on communication devices. Sometimes said as sick in the faceplate due to an amusing autocorrect incident involving Harvey Francis.

Double Dutch

Originating on Summer Tour 2013 during a particularly lengthy and spectacular shit chat session on the beach. Some particularly Ten Euros links were being thrown down and somehow trou down was linked to dutch. A witty comment was then thrown out (I personally think it was the delightfully charismatic and charming Conor Devine who first said this but with a voice so pre-pubescent only a few could hear such a high-pitched sound. One of those with such impeccable hearing was a certain small-faced, beady-eyed man who consequently repeated the phrase and took all the credit for this:) that if dutch was trou down then double dutch would be the act of throwing down one's trou-sers and pants/boxers/knickers. Therefore double dutch is the act of transforming your lower body into a state of pure nakedness, something which happened so much that tour that everyone got sunburnt genitals.

'''All day. ALL DAY!'''

In an exec meeting on domestic tour Newquay 2.0 2013 when deciding fines Harvey Francis wrote a ridiculous description which ended in 'all day' which the exec yelled back at him for some reason. During fines the description was read out, the exec all yelled 'all day' back and then worryingly quickly everyone there caught on and whenever 'all day' was said, everyone yelled 'ALL DAY' back. This became incredible when Dolly Allday realised how to spell her surname in third year and she immediately became a legend!

Needs More Gin

During a particularly brutal Ilfracumin fines run by two people who shall not be named for sake of employment reasons it was declared that a particular fine needed more gin adding to it. The resultant concoction made the poor person being fined throw up so violently they burst multiple blood vessels in their face. Consequently everything from then on needed more gin. This escalated. On BUCS 2013 when gin was on offer at the Asda they were cleared out. Subsequently any way to get the word GIN into a word became the peak of hilarity and was repeatedly done. A lot. e.g. amazGIN, drink 3 fGINers, I'm feelGIN good, and the ironic: GINcredible banter.

Please Help Dominic

Seriously, he really needs assistance.

Many people often incorrectly assume that PHD stands for Doctor of Philosophy - This is stupid as that would be DoP.

SESSION

Originating on Easter 2012's Frozen Surf Tour, Rhys Thomas yelled "SESSION!" for absolutely no reason at all. Julian Regan, Sam Mason and Mikey Hobson immediately adopted the battle cry, and these four maverick renegades proceeded to yell it at the top of their lungs, often randomly and almost always at inappropriate moments, for the entire week. A great word to shout if you can't think of anything to say, and it works even better when followed by an act of imbibition.

In 2017, the prodigal sun arised: William Sessions.

Bifta

"In the original script, my character was a basketball player rather than a boxer. I didn't think I could pull that off. I'm a little short to be a basketball player!" - Eddie Murphy (1995)

HOON

HOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN. Meaning: Alcohol, get drunk, have some liquid fun, havoc, raise the value of your enjoyment levels, increase amusement in your surroundings to a temperature more resembling that of a 4 hour old bathtub of water, gamble, do something ridiculous, fluffy ruffs, sometimes used to describe how that guy/girl just got demolished (by a wave hopefully), outrageous antics, ridiculous rambunctuousness, the hoon of Gondor.

Mainly used in correspondence with alcohol and getting weird.

Donde esta la bibliotheque?

Where is the library?

THERE IS NO* SUN!

A phrase emanating from Post-Apocalyptic Wimbledon, a competition dreamt up on Summer Tour Tk16. The competition involves two competitors armed with guns that shoot smaller guns, sat facing each other in a room with no windows, in front of an irradiated crowd. There is no way to win this competition. The only refreshment served is strawberries and bile. The phrase arose from t-shirts made on tour, with the slogan sprayed across the back.

* The 'O' here is replaced by a mini-cheddar, as they are the only currency in this post-apocalyptic world.

One more rule, Mr Frodo, it's the finest metronome you've ever seen.

A game involving coining a simple action such as bunny ears or a sharp head turn (Jack Thornton), and performing this action and subsequently the action of another player to signal their turn whilst keeping in time with a rhythm (or not). Very similar to Tally Ho, sometimes ends inexplicably in a dance off.

Travel

Made at the airport when leaving Summer Tour 2015. Everyone was drunk and the plane was delayed by 5 hours.